It’s a bit odd when you live in the public eye. Trust me, I can hear that as it comes out of my mouth – I know I ain’t that famous – but to an extent the work that I have done in the past few years has caused a large group of people to know me that I don’t know.
This little bit of notoriety has been good on many levels, and challenging on others, and I definitely wouldn’t be who I am today without it. Ironically I was able to keep my health and fitness under control when I was completely anonymous. Once people started to look at me on a regular basis I suddenly became aware of everything that needed fixing. Kind of like when you suddenly become aware of your own tongue, then that’s all you can think about is your tongue.
And if all you think about today is your own tongue then my work here is complete. You’re welcome.
What I’ve found interesting tho is that health and fitness needs some attention, continuous attention (like eating well, drinking water, taking care of hair and skin, and exercising), but when I became too aware of all those things it didn’t go as well.
As I began to equate my health and fitness with potential success (have you seen who gets cast for DIY shows these days? It’s not necessarily the talented ones, it’s the ones that have made going to the gym their profession) – I began to lose satisfaction in how well I was doing. If my waist size was a 36 I beat myself up because it should be 34, for example. What hair color looks best in photographs? What moisturizer will take two years off my perceived age?
Here’s the rub: that mentality produced exactly the opposite results of what I really had hoped for. My inner “you can’t tell me what to do” child dug in and rebelled. So any step forward was quickly followed by two steps backwards. It’s weird to look back on tv appearances and photographs that have been taken over the arc of my “public” career, and knowing exactly how hard I was working to be more fit, yet seeing the decline of my health and fitness so well documented.
As I wrote about HERE, I’ve stepped away from social media in order to have more time to get into a better mood. It’s like I’ve been holding a cork of my own well-being under the water through my constant awareness of not being “fit enough” – and as I’ve let go of that cork by focusing on what puts me in a good mood the cork bobbed right back to the top.
I stopped looking at what size I was wearing, and started looking for things to include in my day to put me in a good mood…
What has felt like an uphill battle to eat better, exercise regularly, DRINK MORE WATER, suddenly is just part of my everyday life. What changed is that I stopped looking at what size I was wearing, and started looking for things to include in my day to put me in a good mood. The false hope that a lunch out will make me happier, has turned into not even having enough time to go to lunch because I’m doing other things that really are making me happier.
This all started just by making two lists: one of the things that make me grumpy, and one of the things that put me in a good mood. Then making an effort to avoid the grumpy things, and do more of the good mood things has resulted in just naturally doing more of what is good for me.