Not everything serves us forever. We can be all-in on something one day and then be finished with it the next. I wasn’t necessarily raised that way, and throughout my adult life I have waffled a lot when it comes to “letting it go” and “keeping it”. What I experienced from a very young age…
It’s just a truck, isn’t it?
It’s crazy to think that something like a vehicle can be intimately tied to a person – it’s just a vehicle – an assemblage of pieces parts that you move yourself around town with. Gary bought this truck 11 years ago, the only vehicle I watched him choose for himself during our 22 years together.…
Just like Groundhog Day
What I really didn’t realize was that when my husband died that day last July, that it wouldn’t be the only time. He dies every day in my world. My days are what seem like an endless list of tasks, and of phone calls to strangers at companies that start with “I’m calling to let…
Solstice Man
Today is the winter solstice – the shortest day of the year. The one that has the least amount of time with sunlight. Today is also Gary’s birthday, the first since he passed. When we had just begun our relationship we were on a road trip with his family around the holidays. We stopped at…
How it feels to be loved
Not too long after we got together Gary and I decided to try taking a cruise and see if we’d enjoy that type of vacation. We booked a short one – just seven days – out of Galveston to the Caribbean. We were both so nervous yet excited for the experience. The ship was huge,…
Is hermitting a word?
I have hermit tendencies. When I was 20 I spent six months in a friend’s house living in his basement and never stepped a foot outdoors. A group of friends had an intervention and took me out to dinner which did in fact cause me to stop hermitting. In an effort to not become a…
Too soon
Rode with my SIL to Durango, she had a doctor’s appt in the regional hospital, thought I’d just, you know, wait in the coffee shop – that’s when I realized it is way. Too. Soon. – breathed through the beginning of a panic attack and came outside and found a bench. I’d rather be freezing…
Melancholy
I made it to the house where my beautiful geek grew up. It doesn’t feel as raw as when I was here for his funeral in July – it’s more just melancholy.
So happy
I have spent all afternoon sorting all our pics – I want to take all of the pics and other memorabilia that was from before I met Gary back to New Mexico with me. It needs to stay in his family. I was reminded just how happy we were. On a related note: crying for…
Happy Halloween!
In under a year Koya’ana lost her big sister that raised her, her kitty sister that adored her, her other daddy that she was most bonded to, and her kitty brother that greeted her every morning and evening at the pool. In order to keep it all in perspective this year she is La Catrina,…